Comments on: Help With “Honor In The Home” Research

By: Katherine

Katherine — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 11:40:06 +0000

Honor is not completely lost in this culture! We honor the people in our home and outside our home every night at dinner. (Yes we have family dinner every night) We have “The Candle of Honor” that we present to one of our children, each other, focused on God, guests who come and those not even here but need our honor. We light the candle place it in front of the person and say why we each honor that person tonight. Recently, when we were in a major car accident, we honored God for keeping us safe and bringing us through such a terrible event. We honor Brad when he is not even there but working hard for us. If I forget, my children will remind me! They love being honored and they love honoring others. Our favorite part is the look on a guest’s face when we honor them. Pastor Buddy we think you are awesome and you have had and will have a place of honor in our home! Bring your home to HNL!

By: Heather

Heather — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 13:19:34 +0000

I just have a question to Pastor Buddy…while talking about Honor in the Home and how important it is between a husband and wife, but I’m also curious what about honoring our children? I hear so often, I don’t need to honor them. I need to teach them right from wrong. I disagree so strongly. I think you teach your children honor by honoring them. However, I think that honor and discipline can be easily confused when it comes to our children. Because of course we want our children to grow into well behaved, socially acceptable and successful adults so discipline is of course is important. It seems like it can be confused that honoring your children is giving them free reign to walk all over you…but of course it is not…how do you teach this and discipline at the same time? AND what do you do when you and your spouse don’t see eye-to-eye on this issue?

By: Lisa

Lisa — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 01:41:17 +0000

First let me honor both you and Debbie and say t hank you for an incredible series and an incredible past year. I have been a member for a year on the first weekend of March. You are both amazing and this church is a huge part of our life and our family.
1) I think it is easier to honor others outside of the home because you dont usually have a history with those. I think things at home are expected but there is also history, pain and hurt….then I think we close up and start protectingn outselves again and shutting those out who have hurt us.
2 throgh 5 ) I agree with all above….

I would love if we had a couples group through Northway. I think it would be very beneficial.
Also – this series has been very powerful in our home – thank you….
I would also like to talk about forgiveness. It is something that is difficult for all of us on many levels. Forgiveness and forget ….I know that this is something that holds me back from all other work…I am probably not alone on this

By: tinamcdonald

tinamcdonald — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 19:31:12 +0000

i think we find it easier to honor those out side the home ,because i think we sometimes feel like those who we are close to ,are going to be there whenever.. i think we seek to impress those out side of the home,we put a hugh effort into acting good around them ,being nice, trying to please them and we think it is okay to give any or all of our left over feelings and actions to those who mean the most to us..instead we should realize we are honored by GOD to have these people in our lives so our lives should be lived honoring them…..there’s a saying wake up and smell the flowers but that can only happen if we give the “flowers to people while they are alive to smell them…life is short honor those closet to us now!!! men tend to dis honor their wives by looking down on them, by always seeing the negative only…thinking and acting like they are more important then the wife is.. they dis honor the wives but allowing what went on in their home growing up to determine who they are today as a spouse…they don’t open up to their wife with their honest thoughts,wants fears and goals… wives dis honor their husbands by assuming that men and husbands know what we want and exspected to do it no matter what.. woman tend to take their husbands for granted…… We say we give GOD our Honor but we have to honor those dearest to us now because that honors GOd…

By: John

John — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 15:00:40 +0000

1. Why is it easier to give honor to those outside of the home instead of to those closest to you? We’re selfish and take advantage of the situation.

2. What are ways men dishonor their wives?
Lack of respect. Being over-lording, demanding and childish. We don’t want them to be our mother, yet at times we act like children. Authority should always lead to gentleness and meekness. Jesus had all authority and his response was to wash feet. If we rule like servants and serve like kings then we represent Him well.

3. What are ways women dishonor their husbands?
Lack of respect, manipulation, and deception.

4. What do you think holds you back from giving honor in the home?
We don’t want to be vulnerable. Honor means being vulnerable and we don’t want to be vulnerable to those who have hurt us. It’s a pride issue. We want to hold onto the past to justify our negative actions. But just as you’ve been hurt, you’ve also caused hurt. We need to remember it goes both ways. Just b/c men don’t share their feelings(which we should do MUCH more) the hurt is still the same.

5. How would you complete the following sentence? I would feel honored if my spouse would
Be honest and understand that we are different. Appreciate and value the strengths, accept the deficiencies, and find happy ways to compromise on some of the imperfections.

Husbands and wives need to be rooted and grounded in love. Confident of who they
are in Christ. Looking at someone to complement their life, not complete it. We must encourage and challenge with love to enlarge our hearts in the love of God.

By: Jenifer

Jenifer — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 16:17:42 +0000

Hi Buddy and Debbie! My husband John and I were so blessed by the service this morning at Colonie! We can really feel God working through Northway as well as in our lives. Northway truly has blessed us and our marriage, and i am not sure we would be where we are as a couple, if we didnt have Northway! God bless you both and we are so thankful for you and Debbie! Love, Jen

By: Lora Brockert

Lora Brockert — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 16:18:21 +0000

At first, I wasn’t quite sure what the focus of honor w/in ‘Speak Up’ was going to be about….And now things are really starting to click….now eagerly awaiting tomorrow morning,
no pressure or anything guys! Thank you so much for shining light on honor, as I’m learning that this seemingly simplistic ideal may be THE forgotten cornerstone to a content life for myself as well as others.

By: buddy

buddy — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 16:14:01 +0000

Thank you for your transparency….everybody….great thought provoking stuff….keep it coming!!!

By: Lora Brockert

Lora Brockert — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 16:03:10 +0000

1. Why is it easier to give honor to those outside of the home instead of to those closest to you?
This is a very interesting, for my personal family background,
I spent most of my almost 33 years (on Palm Sun. YAY!) asking the same
exact question. Read the responses & agree wholeheartedly.

2. What are ways men dishonor their wives? By fearing communication rather
than develop news way to do so.

3. What are ways women dishonor their husbands? Again, in agreeance with
others here….I cringe when women bad-talk their husbands…both in front
of them & when they are not around.

4. What do you think holds you back from giving honor in the home? Frustration
with consistent patterns of poor choices by my loved ones.

5. How would you complete the following sentence? I would feel honored if my spouse would (difficult to answer, as my spouse currently consists of 2 black labrador retrievers) but to
submit a response: taking the time & focus to communicate feelings above all
other responsibilities.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 13:10:13 +0000

1. Why is it easier to give honor to those outside of the home instead of to those closest to you? I think it’s because in the depths of our hearts we know that family is always there, and will always love us no matter what…but people outside the home don’t know us as well and we seek their approval. Sometimes we need need an outlet and our family tends to get the brunt of it…it doesn’t make it right, but we let it happen.

2. What are ways men dishonor their wives? Maybe seeing them as the lesser half…thinking if women as supposed to be submissive then their thoughts and opinions aren’t as important.

3. What are ways women dishonor their husbands? Not giving them the respect they deserve and trusting them to be the leader of the family. Treating them the same as we would our children.

4. What do you think holds you back from giving honor in the home? Getting caught up the daily hardships..letting it get the best of us. We let things get us down or angry and we forget to focus on the good and treat each other with Love respect and honor.

5. How would you complete the following sentence? I would feel honored if my spouse would put God first and me second. Going to God before making decisions and taking my wishes and opinions in consideration.